"Discretion is not the better part of biography."
- Lytton Strachey.
Good afternoon, fellow sapient beings. I will be your tour guide for this evening. Where are we headed, you ask? Into my past, my present, and my future, of course. If this is not what you signed up for, please exit the journal immediately. If it's precisely what you expected when clicking onto this little corner of the internet, then by all means... proceed.
I'm using this post as a sort of introduction into what you'll be reading on a near daily basis if you add this journal. Some entries will be friends only, others will be public. Some will be very short, others will be very long. I will tell you things about myself that even my mother doesn't know of. My secret passions, my hopes and dreams. I may be only nineteen, but I have an old soul. I have not experienced a lot, but through my love for history and literature, I have lived vicariously through some of the most tremendous people that have walked the earth. I believe that now is the time to tell you about myself.
My name is Abby. Abby Gayle, to be precise. My middle name comes from my grandmother on my mother's side, and my first name comes from a soap opera character in the 80s. I've thought long and hard about changing my name, and I've decided that if I ever do change it, it'll be something small. From Abby Gayle to Abigail. Like I mentioned earlier, I'm nineteen years old. Funny, because it doesn't feel like it. I'm not the sort to mention here that I've been through so much that my soul is weary. Oh, no, I have lived a very soft life. My family and friends have always spoiled me. It's the level of maturity that I've been given that makes me feel so much older. While so many young women my age are weak willed and easily swayed by passing fashions, I am quite stalwart in my means. Besides, what nineteen year old really uses the word "stalwart?" Hahah.
I spend most of my time reading. This is not me trying to sound like an elite literature snob. I'm not. This is not me trying to sound more intelligent than I really am. I know that I'm no genius. I know that I'm not dull, but there will always be someone smarter than I am. I just enjoy learning. In fact, I prefer biographies over fiction, and history books thrill me more than they probably should. I've always preferred sticking my nose into a book than into my peers' business. It's an obsession, a welcome one.
Intelligence and open-mindedness are things that I treasure in people that I meet every day. This along with kindness and compassion, when put into the same person, makes up someone that I could possibly fall in love with.
I am not ashamed of what I believe in. I believe there is a God, but I also believe in loving those that deserve love and appreciating beauty through art. Nakedness is not vulgar to me, but beautiful. Homosexuality and bisexuality are just titles given to those that do not fear loving against societies norm. I pray to God, yes, but that does not stop me from reading Marcus Aurelius's Meditations whenever I feel the urge to pick it up. I believe in the ability to believe in whatever one wishes to believe in.
And what do I believe in?
Beauty. Expanding one's mind. Reading until your eyes burn and your mind cannot take in any more. Poetry. Falling in love with strangers. Falling in love with friends. Embracing what you have. Treasuring what is given to you. Giving people hope. Inspiration. Learning from history. Forgiving and forgetting. Art. The spoken word, and the written word. Being happy. My virginity. Waiting for the right person. Knowing that there is no such thing.
What do you believe in?
For the first time, I give you all of my love.
Abby Gayle.
Current Mood: busy
Current Music: "been too long" by emmy rossum.
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